


Reloc

by Lex_Munro



Series: Stories From the Fateverse [6]
Category: Avengers (Comic), Deadpool - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sci-fi, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Assassination, Dimension-Hopping, F/M, Genderswap, Reference to Het, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-31
Updated: 2011-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-22 16:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lex_Munro/pseuds/Lex_Munro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the original Auditor's last assignments:  the relocation of a Stephanie Rogers from one universe to a neighboring one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reloc

**Author's Note:**

> **warnings:**   AU - Fateverse.  sci-fi.  technobabble.  rampant bad 616 references.  reference to multiple AU character deaths.  hints of het and slash.  language: pg (primetime tv).
> 
> **pairing:**   implied Steph/Tony and implied Nate/Wade.
> 
> **timeline:**   Network Operations 3651 (AD 6188).
> 
> **disclaimer:**   characters belong to marvel.  au and au versions belong to me.
> 
> **notes:**   1) Wade's totally singing "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades," by Timbuk3.  2) ah, who doesn't love that nifty technological hum made by Star Trek replicators?  i know i do.  3) "Traveling without moving" is a reference to Dune.  folding space (the primary means of long distance inter-stellar travel in the Dune universe) is fundamentally similar to opening a gravitic conduit.
> 
> visit [The Fateverse Glossary](http://merianmoriarty.deviantart.com/art/Fateverse-Glossary-174203180) and [The Fateverse Appendix](http://merianmoriarty.deviantart.com/art/Fateverse-Appendix-184289237) for terms, concepts, Nodes, and important people.

**Reloc**

 

Wade sits alone in a darkened office, feet up on somebody else’s desk, bobbing his head to the beat of the song playing on the radio.

“I study nuclear science, I love my classes…” he sings enthusiastically (but not so enthusiastically that he doesn’t notice the sound of footsteps in the hall, or the steady blink of a red dot moving through the depths of the Node next to his feet.  “I got a crazy teacher who wears dark glasses…things are goiiin’ greeeeeat, and they’re only gettin’ better.”

The door slams open, and the man standing there has a gun aimed at Wade.

“What, you don’t like this song?” Wade asks innocently.

“Who are you?!” the man demands.  “What are you doing in my office?  How did you get in here?”

Wade picks up Kali and holds her out.  “Could you step a little closer and breathe toward the crystal ball?  Need a quick retinal and DNA verification to go with the voiceprint.”

“W-what?” the man says.  The gun in his hand is shaking—nervous.  Poor feeb probably hasn’t ever had to use it on somebody who wasn’t cowering for dear life.

Kali beeps.  _~Ident confirmed.~_

Text starts to scroll through the Node, and Wade reads it off with practiced speed.

“Bolivar Trask TS331-Alpha, your phasic dissonance exceeds the acceptable margin of thirty-five percent.  This charge and your culpability are not in question.  You are required by law to submit yourself for lifelong incarceration in the Null-Resonance Detention Facility.”

“Lifelong incarceration?” the man cries.  “What law?!”

“If you resist in any way, you will b—”

Trask shoots him.  The bullet hits Wade high in the chest.

Wade looks down at the hole and the mess, and sighs.  “See, now I have to kill you.”  In one smooth motion, he draws the magnum from his GCP and shoots Trask between the eyes.  “Dammit, I loved this shirt.  Who’s next on the list, Kali?”

_~Reloc 99712:  Stephanie Stark GF904 to replace Stephanie Stark-Rogers YS209.  Bundle Keeper has been alerted to your operation.~_

He slips the magnum back into the GCP, feels it come apart under his hand with a satisfying little Star Trek hum.  “GF is an oblique neighbor to YS?”

_~That is correct.  There have been five corresponding locus events within the past decade of each bundle.~_

“Cool beans,” he says.  “And GF has made contact, but YS hasn’t?”

_~That is correct.~_

Pursing his lips, Wade hops up from Trask’s chair and grabs Kali from the desk.  “Have the DBA pull me a summary of the last six months of each.”

More text begins to scroll.  Aftermath of the Civil War event, the DBA is careful to point out.  New alliances, new political regimes, new legislation.  An assassination attempt—at a fragmentation locus.  Good; it should be easy to convince the subject to relocate, and she shouldn’t have to adjust much.

“Lock on the fragmentation locus and prepare a gentle memory wipe to that point.  It’ll be easier on her if she can pretend it was a bad dream.”

_~Memory wipe ready.~_

“Awesome.  Open the tunnel.”

With a twinkle, the gravitic conduit has formed, and a tiny calculation from Kali moves it to engulf him, transposing two points of the timestream.

“Traveling,” he says in an overly dramatic voice, “without _moving_.”  He grins at the depressing penthouse apartment that replaced Trask’s office.  “God, I love my work.”

All things considered, the place looks good.  Most Captain Americas (Captains America, whatev) flip their lids when their spouses get assassinated.  It’s always worse when it goes the other way around (maybe Tony Stark is just an inherently unstable person), but there’s still wreckage, and tantrums, and sometimes war.

He finds her sitting listlessly by a window.  Her pale hair is in tangled disarray, as though she’s been pulling at it.  Her eyes are puffy and her nose is pink, but she’s still pretty, in a plain and wholesome sort of way.

“Really, Pepper,” she sighs hoarsely.  “I’m fine, I promise.  I just…I need time, that’s all.”

“What if I told you that you _don’t_?” Wade asks.

She whirls, drops into a fighting stance with fists raised and ready, powerful muscle picking out corded shapes in her bare forearms.  “Who are you?  How did you get in here?”

He holds up Kali.  “They call me the Auditor.”

The fight drops right out of her.  She sits back down, drained of all energy.  “Oh,” she murmurs.  “Then I guess he really was meant to die.  I…I’m ready.  I won’t fight you.”

Wade walks slowly closer.  “Stephanie Stark GF904,” he says gently.  “Your immediate relocation is required to replace Stephanie Stark-Rogers YS209.”

Her head jerks up, pale eyes wide and surprised.  “I…what?”

“Think of it like this…  Somebody wanted your little revolution to come to a screeching-ass halt that day.  And there were four basic outcomes possible.  One:  you both die, the country plunges into autocratic chaos.  Two:  only your husband dies, and (with a few minor variations) you go to pieces and the revolution fails anyway.  Three:  only you die, and he ends up as the country’s dictator.  Four:  you both live, the revolution is a success, and the Meta-Human Democratic State is established.”

She stares at him for a long time, absorbing the information.  “And…so you’re, what, consolidating?”

“Unfortunately, your bundle isn’t salvageable.  If this hadn’t happened, we’d have passed it along to the Demolition Squad.”  Wade gives an apologetic shrug.  “But the YS bundle is part of the central structure.  It was pretty much a minor disaster when we saw that your counterpart had so nobly sacrificed herself.”

Stephanie takes a long breath, puts her knees together, and nods as if she’s decided something.  “All right.  How will this work?”

“The bundles are a lot alike, and we’ll have a good cover story for you,” he tells her.  “The plan is to give you a gentle memory wipe, too, so that this will seem like a bad dream.  Don’t try to fight it; if you just go with it, it’ll clear itself out and the bundle will absorb you.”

“Tony w—” She breaks off and has to close her eyes for a few seconds.  “Won’t he know the difference?”

“In all the ways that count, you’re a perfect copy of her.  It’s just that when the time came, she happened to see the assassin before he could.  There shouldn’t be any trouble at all, because their bundle needs your chronometric signature for stability.”

She shakes her head.  “So you mean to tell me that if you met a version of your wife—”

“Husband,” he cheerfully corrects.

She has the good grace not to pause for long.  “If you met a version of your husband who was chronometrically similar enough, you wouldn’t know the difference?”

He crouches before her and puts a hand over hers.  “If he died taking a bullet for me and I could suddenly have him back, I wouldn’t _want_ to know the difference.  That’s human nature.  I mean it—one little memory wipe and a little story that you were stunned or sleeping or magically transported somewhere, and Captain America is welcomed back with open arms, just in time to bolster the spirit of revolution before it can turn into one of vengeful conquering.  _Don’t overthink it_.”

“Do you often have to convince people like me?” she asks him sadly.  “Tell us it’s for the best, but we just can’t help dragging our feet the whole way?”

“It’s better than the alternative, honey.  If we don’t get a replacement for his wife, I’ll have to kill him.  You really wanna waste a perfectly good Tony Stark?”  He winks.  “He’s got such a nice ass, too…”

That earns him a soft laugh.  “Okay,” she says.  “I’m ready.  Let’s go.”

“You may lose consciousness,” he warns as he holds Kali up again.  “Remember:  don’t fight it.  Kali, begin memory wipe.”

_~Memory wipe in progress.~_

Her eyes glaze and drift shut.

Wade catches her when she tips forward.  “Open the tunnel.”

Again, the barely-there shimmer of the gravitic conduit forming and shifting.

Then pale daylight on a beach.

He drops Stephanie in the breakwater and drags her back to the tide line.  There’s a pay phone nearby, and he dials 911.  When the operator calmly picks up and asks for the nature of the emergency, he grins.  “Captain America lives,” he says, and drops the receiver to dangle by its cord.

Then he walks back to stand over Stephanie for a moment.

“Next on the list?”

_~Approximately three days of mandatory psychological health leave.~_

“Sweet.  Let’s go home, I got me a hubby who needs kissin’.”

 

**.End.**


End file.
